This is long overdue. I planned to write about this, but I can't seem to find the words to describe how I felt that night. It was the scariest night of my life.

It was the 23rd of November and we were out for dinner with Jeff's family because it's my mother-in-law's birthday. Taglet was a bit cranky, but knowing that he's a baby and baby and cranky almost has the same meaning, we didn't mind. Taglet was crankier than the usual. I thought it was just another bout of colic or he's just having a growth spurt because all he wanted to do was nurse all day. He never wanted to let go of my boob. He feeds like he's always hungry.

We went home earlier that everyone else. Taglet was crying in the car, so I told Jeff I feel like there's something wrong with him, or maybe he's feeling sick. When we got home, I changed his clothes, we washed up, and did our routine baby talk/chismisan before going to bed. Taglet was smiling and laughing and making all sorts of adorable baby noise while we wait for Jeff to return from the bathroom. And that's when the horror happened..

Jeff watching Taglet sleep while we were at the restaurant.

I sat him on my tummy while resting his head on my knees. He burped. And suddenly, he started throwing up. A lot. Like really a lot. And that didn't end there. He vomited a lot of milk with blood. Some fresh blood, and some old blood. Yes, blood. I screamed for Jeff to come quick. I couldn't touch Taglet. I saw my sister-in-law and all I could say is, "There's blood."

She instructed me to get ready to go to the emergency room while she dressed my son. Jeff grabbed the baby bag and the car seat. We were in the car after a few seconds.

I hugged my son. I held him while I cried in the back seat. There's blood, a lot of blood in his vomit. I just had him two months ago, I can't lose him now. I can't lose him ever. My tiny baby is just two months old.

We arrived in MakatiMed ER after a few minutes. I don't know how fast Jeff drove. I was interviewed and brought to the Pedia ER. A few minutes later, a pedia resident came to me for another interview. She asked me what happened, I showed her Taglet's shirt full of vomit and blood, she asked that my son be weighed, and then gave orders that Taglet be given shots to prevent him from vomiting again. The nurse came and gave him the shots. He told me my son might feel groggy for about 8 hours because of the medicine. Taglet let out a painful cry. I cried again. I put him on my breast again to feed and to give him comfort. He nursed.

Minutes later, we were ushered to the bed (yes, because we've been waiting on the benches since we came!). Another pedia resident came and I showed him the bloodied shirt again. He immediately called for admission. My poor baby. Two months into this life and he's back in the hospital. The first resident came back for more questions.

She asked me again what happened, I told her my story again, and she said I NEVER TOLD HER MY  BABY VOMITED BLOOD. Is she crazy or deaf? We wouldn't be in the ER in the first place if it weren't for the blood in my son's vomit. My emotions are all over the place and I am too weak to be angry, but I told her that I already told her about the blood. She stared at me like she didn't understand a thing. I understand that ER doctors are on duty for hours without sleep, but my goodness, it was not the proper thing to say to a panicking mother.

Jeff finally got a room and we were wheeled to the fifth floor.

My heart is so broken right now. Feel better, my little tiger. #Taglet 💔

A photo posted by Misis Tagle (@misistagle) on Nov 11, 2014 at 6:45pm PST

They collected urine, poop, and blood for testing. Taglet's pedia, Dr. Jose Clemente's initial diagnosis was acute gastritis. How in the world can an exclusively breastfed two-month old baby contract gastritis? I have no idea. Taglet was out almost the whole night because of the shot that was given to him.

I woke up in the morning feeling a little feverish. My breasts feel so full, and I knew I needed to express milk. Taglet nursed too little during the night because he was just sleeping. My breast pump was left at home so I just had to use the hospital pump. They were using Avent and I felt like the suction was not as good as the Medela Swing I'm using. After 30 minutes, I only got 3oz. Normally, with that kind of engorgement in the morning, I could get about 10-12oz in 30 minutes.

My fever was on and off the whole day. My Mama and sister came to visit, as well as my parents-in-law. I was able to pump midday, but my fever persisted. When the night came, I was already having chills and 39.2C fever. All because of engorged breasts.

Later that night, another pedia came. This time a pedia-gastro, of course, specializing in the tummy area. Dr. Calixto-Mercado checked Taglet's stomach. She pressed here and there. She told me all the tests came back negative and his stomach x-ray didn't show any lacerations. She said that we may need to consider that my son was able to get the blood from my breasts. She asked me to latch my son, and there it is, she figured my latch was good, but the position was bad, hence the pain while he feeds. She took my son from me, and latched him. There was very minimal pain. She also checked my breasts and found that my nipples were so sore, and that the inside of my nipple looked like there were some wounds. She advised me to get a breast ultrasound and in the mean time, bottle feed my baby with my expressed milk to let my nipples heal. She told me to put the breast pump on the lowest strength possible to not further hurt my breasts.

I think I like this pedia already!

She told me that we can go home in the morning and just observe my son at home. My son is well and we will be sent home in the morning! Gad, it turns out, it's me who has a problem and not him. Sigh. Still good news, right? I took the pedia's advice and bottle fed him most of the time. You see, I can't take him away from my breast. Ever since he learned how to nurse directly from me, he prefers my breast over the bottle.

So mommies, don't abuse thy boobies!

We are home! Thank you, Jesus! #Taglet #TeamTagle

A photo posted by Misis Tagle (@misistagle) on Nov 11, 2014 at 1:12am PST