A few months before I married Jeff, my bestfriend Sarah asked me why I am getting married. It was a surprising question. I had two things in mind -- 1. maybe she's worried that we won't have so much time to hang out anymore and 2. why do people get married?
My college professor once told us that marriage is just a 'license to fvck". She said it's just a piece of paper that makes everything official -- couples can have sex whenever they want, they can live together, buy things and call it theirs, etc. But in today's world, people still do this even without that piece of paper. So what makes marriage different?
As Christians, our parents taught us that before the man can take you away from them, he must marry you. They also believed that God must bless your union, hence we marry inside the church. That wasn't really my reason why I married Jeff. The other night, I asked Jeff why he asked me to marry him. He just said that his life is happier since I did. I guess my reason for marrying him is a success -- I wanted to make him happy.
I remember during the early stage of our courtship, Jeff came home from an event at work and he was very ecstatic in telling me stories on what happened and what he did. I really didn't understand why he was telling me that. I'm not even his girlfriend at that time. I didn't know where he took the queue because he suddenly apologized and said that he just missed the idea of having someone to talk to whenever there's something good that happens. My heart swelled. It's good to be someone's confidant.
According to the Bible, marriage was designed for companionship and intimacy. My mother told me back in the day that I should be careful in choosing a husband. She told me that I should marry someone who I can have great conversations and not just someone who I am happy with at the moment. Let's face it, when we're old and not able to be intimate anymore, all we have left are great conversations and laughs.
I read an article yesterday which really touched my heart. Marriage Isn't for You was written by Seth Adam Smith and his father's insights were really eye opening. Marriage isn't for everyone of us, it is for the one we marry.
We marry them because we want to make them happy. I married Jeff because I love seeing him smile at me every morning. I married him because I wanted to tell him I love him even when he's inside the toilet. I married him because I want to cook for him and take care of him when he's sick. I married him because I want to make him feel complete, just as much as I feel complete when I am with him.
As for your happiness, do not worry about it. If your partner has the right reasons on marrying you, it is his or her problem to make you happy.
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