Life,
PCOS,
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome,
Pregnancy,
Pressure
On PCOS, Pregnancy, and Pressure
10:55 PMIt's been 400+ days since Jeff and I got married. A lot of people has been asking if we're already expecting, or if are planning to have a baby. In fact, we do plan to have a baby. We want to have a baby, but until now, every month I still get that one purple line in the pregnancy test. So no, as of this writing, we are not yet expecting.
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| Photo from wikihow.com |
Last April 2012 when Jeff and I got married, I knew I was fertile. So we were kind of expecting to get pregnant about a month or so after the wedding. Come June 2012, I was already delayed. I bought pregnancy kits from the pharmacy but I got negative results test after test. I knew it was time to see a doctor. The first OBGYNE I consulted was in Healthway. He (yes, he was a guy) suggested that I do a transvaginal ultrasound because I might be pregnant but the home pregnancy tests was not able to detect it. So we did. I got the result a week later. It was revealed that I was not pregnant. I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was a bit confused because the only PCOS I know was the thing we use for voting.
PCOS or polycystic ovary syndrome, according to pcossupport.org, is the most common female endocrine disorder, affecting approximately 5%-10% of all females. In layman's term, the hormones in a woman's body is so messed up that it can't produce eggs regularly. It doesn't mean that women with PCOS can't bear children, it is just hard because there is an irregular ovulation.
I was a bit shocked when I learned about my medical condition. Actually no, it was not a bit of a shock, it was bordering depression. I was afraid that Jeff won't love me as much if he learns that I am 'sick'. I was afraid that our parents would be greatly disappointed at me because I can't bear a child. I can't give them little Jeffs and Joys. I will grow old alone and no one will take care of me.
Few months before we got married, my friends in Singapore, Kuya Jay and Ate Marj gave us an online marriage counseling. In one session, we talked about kids. They asked how many kids we want to have, and what names we are giving them, how many boys and girls, etc. But the next question startled us -- what if we are not destined to have kids? We were quiet. We never thought of it. That night, Jeff and I talked about and decided that maybe if we come to that point, we would consider adoption. The day I learned that I have PCOS, adoption was one of the few words that came to my mind.
It took me months before I came into terms with my medical condition. In December 2012, with Jeff's support and assuring words, I had the courage to see a fertility doctor. I went to Dr. Cecille Reyes of Asian Hospital. I was happy when they told me that my health card, which is Jeff's extension, covers the consulations and most of the tests. She made me do a series of tests and as soon as the results were out, she gave me the first step of my work up. She told me to take the pill for three months, as well as metformin. I just finished the third month batch and waiting for my period. Or hopefully, no period for this month.
I know a few friends who have the same medical condition. It is never too late to go to your OB and get worked up. Also those who are getting married, it is also recommended for you to see an OB now if you plan to have a baby right away. Getting pregnant is all about timing, and PCOS makes it harder.
Acceptance is the only cure to PCOS. One should know what it is, and that there is no medicine for this, just proper care and continuous check ups with the OB. Women like us need more understanding. I mean, I get it, friends and family are excited for us to have kids but it just adds up to all the stress. Do you think I don't cry at night asking the Lord what's His plan for us? Do you think I don't get hurt when people tell me, 'Naunahan ka pa ng kapatid mo.' Everyday, I get to see young couples pushing around baby strollers. I see friends post photos of their kids, or of their pregnancy. I also ask myself, WHY CAN'T I BE PREGNANT NOW?!
But then it all boils down to faith and patience. I know God has a better plan for us. He has a perfect timing for everything. Maybe not now because we still don't have our own house. Maybe not now because we don't have enough money to support a child yet. But deep in my heart, I believe we will be pregnant soon. We will have a son and a daughter. We will have children because we trust God's faithfulness in our lives.
Please be patient. My son is on his way to my womb.
I know a few friends who have the same medical condition. It is never too late to go to your OB and get worked up. Also those who are getting married, it is also recommended for you to see an OB now if you plan to have a baby right away. Getting pregnant is all about timing, and PCOS makes it harder.
Acceptance is the only cure to PCOS. One should know what it is, and that there is no medicine for this, just proper care and continuous check ups with the OB. Women like us need more understanding. I mean, I get it, friends and family are excited for us to have kids but it just adds up to all the stress. Do you think I don't cry at night asking the Lord what's His plan for us? Do you think I don't get hurt when people tell me, 'Naunahan ka pa ng kapatid mo.' Everyday, I get to see young couples pushing around baby strollers. I see friends post photos of their kids, or of their pregnancy. I also ask myself, WHY CAN'T I BE PREGNANT NOW?!
But then it all boils down to faith and patience. I know God has a better plan for us. He has a perfect timing for everything. Maybe not now because we still don't have our own house. Maybe not now because we don't have enough money to support a child yet. But deep in my heart, I believe we will be pregnant soon. We will have a son and a daughter. We will have children because we trust God's faithfulness in our lives.
Please be patient. My son is on his way to my womb.
4 comments
Exactly what Jay and I are going through right now.... There are good days and bad days.
ReplyDeleteI remember hiding a friend from my news feed because she posted her positive PT result. And she just got married... I cried like a baby after that.... Later on I found out April fool's joke lang pala yun. Hehehe.
When I learned last year that I have PCOS, I said to myself, "I'll be a breeding ground for God's miracle..." :)
You will be too. :)
Thank you, Misis B! There are days talaga that 5 or 10 would ask, and it's tiring to explain why. I just shake my head and say no. Let's keep the faith. :)
DeleteHi, Joy! This is Jeff's friend, KV. :) I know we've never met, but just want to quickly share my story. Did you know I found out I had PCOS after I got pregnant and gave birth? My son was around 2 years old when I decided to go to an ob-gyne for a regular check. She told me that it was a good thing I had a son already. Since he was unplanned, I don't know how long it would've taken if I was proactively trying to get pregnant. I guess I just wanted you both to know that it can happen and it will in God's perfect time. :) Meanwhile, enjoy the time that it's just the two of you! (Also, I hope to get to meet you soon. LOL)
ReplyDeleteThank you, KV for your kind words. It makes me feel better that I am not alone in this battle. I have a supportive and loving husband, and friends who has comforting words for me. Thank you and hope to meet you soon! :)
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