During Taglet's first few months, many people told me that I should just let him cry it out on occasions that he's having his episodes. I tried my best not to. Until today, I don't let him cry it out.

Don't be fooled. This is Taglet when he was a few weeks old. He looked so peaceful. Wait 'til you hear him roar. Hahaha!

As a mother, my heart just can't stand the pain of hearing my son crying. My mother told me that he's not going to die crying, but I still don't tolerate that. During his first seven weeks, which I would swear were the worst, he would cry at night for hours. HOURS. I didn't know what to do. There were nights that I'd lose my patience, or I'll be angry, which I am sure was really okay. I just gave birth, my hormones were all over the place, I have a cut below my belly (which still hurts once in a while), and you expect me to be calm? Dude, you gotta be kidding me.

I also read somewhere (sorry I can't remember where so I can't share the link here) that babies who cry a lot are relatively smaller. This is because they use a lot of energy crying. There goes all the hard-earned breastmilk, it just gets burned through crying.

When he cries like he's in some kind of pain and I can't make him stop, I also feel like I want to cry. There's this lump in my throat that would burst any moment. No one knew that. I am not sure if anyone cared. My mom, I love her to death, but all she cared about was Taglet crying. She wants to feed her all the time, which I don't have the luxury of doing so during the first few weeks because remember, I had two inverted nipples. When Taglet cried at night, my in laws would come to the rescue and would get him,.

Doctors call it colic. Mothers call it a neverending crying spell. It's crazy. They would cry for hours and then stop like nothing happened. I had problems breastfeeding him during the first two months, and that's another reason why he cries. It felt like sometimes, I starved him.

We recently moved to our own place and took Taglet's yaya with us. We have since had problems with her. She wants to go home all the time, and extends her weekend offs. I mean, come on. I work from home, and her not being home means I can't work. When I started working from home, I will have a hard time finishing my work the whole day because I would go to my son a lot of times during the day, especially when he cries.

Jeff would always tell me to let him be. To not mind him when he cries. I love my husband, but he's never going to understand why I always go to my son when he cries. I am a mother, that's what we're made for.

Everyone will ask about Taglet. But me? Hardly. It felt like no one really cared about me or how I was.

That's one of the problems of new mothers. Everyone was so focused on the new baby, that they forget that us mothers also have our own issues. My sister experienced Postpartum Depression or PPD. I didn't. Or I think I didn't. There were nights that I cried because I feel bad for myself. I still do sometimes. I feel like I'm not a good mother because I can't make him stop crying, or I can't solve his problem because obviously, I don't speak his language. On days that we don't have a yaya, I take care of the baby in the morning, and I need to work at night. That leaves me with 3 to 4 hours of sleep everyday. I need to express milk, store them, feed the baby, work, prepare meals, etc. Shower is not even a part of the routine! I only get to shower when Jeff comes home from work.