March 9, 2014
Dear Joy,
Hello. I am you. I am writing this letter for the 24-year-old you. Who would've thought that it's just been five years? Maybe now you have finally settled in your house, maybe sleeping after your flight this morning.
I know you just made your last flight out of Singapore. I know it was your last because up until today, I haven't been back there. Five years ago, you packed your bags and left. There were a lot of things going on. In late 2008, the economy was so bad and even Singapore's economy was down. You were in between jobs at the start of 2009. Your new employer liked you very much, but the Ministry of Manpower won't give you a new working permit.
It was around that time too when you started a short lived romance with someone. You thought it was a fairy tale, just like that Cinderella musical you watched in Esplanade together. It wasn't. It ended on a very sour note. It was one of the worst decisions you ever made in your life. Stop crying, it was painful, but it will soon end. Just give it a few months and you will be alright.
Two days after you came, while you were at the mall with your brother's then girlfriend, you got the news -- your grandmother has passed away. Mama said she knew this was coming, and this was why she was pestering you to come home. She said she couldn't do it without you. Trust her, she really can't. Be strong for her. If you are going to cry, don't do it in front of her. If you do, she will cry. Stay with her. Don't ever think of going back to Singapore anytime soon. She will need you more than ever.
You will finally move on and realize there's more to life than planning to go back to Singapore. You will enroll in grad school, but realize it wasn't for you. I wish you stayed longer in school. I wish you gave school a try. I wish you never drank every weekend, drowning your broken heart in alcohol and cigarette. I wish you never disconnected yourself from your friends. I wish you never thought that everyone were judging you for almost becoming a home wrecker. I wish they understood. I wish you never felt so alone.
Looking at how you dealt with it, you make me proud. You never became a home wrecker. You continued your life with pride. You never went back. I am so proud of you. You did what you had to do. You stayed with Mama and never left her until 2012.
Along the course of your healing, you will meet many new people. You will start to wonder why you're still not in a serious relationship. Fear not and hold your heart. Hold it tight and guard it. Do not fall for those pretentious men who come up to you just because. Keep on trusting God and His promises.
I can't tell you what happens to you in five years just yet, but I will tell you one thing. Remember your last flight out of Singapore? You landed at 4:30AM in NAIA Terminal 3 in Paranaque. It was March 9. It will be a very important day for you for the rest of your life. A few kilometers away, someone was celebrating his 24th birthday. That day, you were of the same age. You will meet him after one year, seven months, and one day. You will discover that he has also been waiting for you all his life.
And trust me, you will forever thank the Lord for forcing you to come home on March 9, 2009 because unknowingly, he was one of the reasons why you did.
Love,
Your 29-year-old self
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